Hair care is the cornerstone of our civilisation. Why? Read on to discover the five reasons your personal hair care routine will decide not only your own fate, but that of the whole of humanity.
1. Your love life...
Good hair care will lead directly to a good love life, and there is an easily observable reason for this. A first date will often involve going for drinks rather than an entire meal. It's the point at which you both decide whether you want to spend a bit more time together - whether you'll commit to a proper, full-on dinner date. Your success will be determined by whether you can purchase your round of drinks in an easy-going, yet timely, manner. Who gets served quickest at the bar? The person with the best hair. Take your hair care seriously or you'll be spending the rest of your life alone.
2. Your job...
If you look after your hair, a sparkling career will inevitably be yours for the taking. Interviewers make up their mind about whether to hire a person within the first three seconds of them walking through the door. How do they know whether they'll be right for the job? Their hair. As far as employers are concerned, sloppy hair means a sloppy worker, and vice versa. The quality of your hair care will, without doubt, decide whether you gain the job of your dreams or wind up stuffing envelopes for the rest of your life.
3. Your future happiness...
A bad hair day may be 'hair today, gone tomorrow', but what if you have your photo taken unexpectedly? It's always the unplanned photographs, taken on impulse, which end up sitting on granny's mantelpiece for years to come. Make a concerted effort to keep your hair care routine up to scratch every single day - this way you won't be watching a deranged-looking version of Simon Le Bon staring back at you from that random family pic for the next twenty years.
4. Fighting crime...
If the metric were ever formally tested, statistics would show that good hair care is inversely proportional to crime rates. This means that, if everyone in the world had beautiful hair, there would be no crime. Think about it - when our hair looks good, we feel good, and when we feel good, we naturally behave well as a result. How many mug shots have you seen where the criminal had a decent hairstyle? None.
5. Remaining the dominant species...
The future of man- (and woman-) kind (actually, particularly womankind, since we're the ones leading the way on hair care) will be decided by how we continue to look after our hair. Why do you think humans are the dominant species? Learning to style and look after our locks is what propelled us to the forefront of existence in the first place. It made the rest of the animal kingdom sit up and listen, and it gave us the confidence to create such modern wonders as spaceships and cupcakes. Let our collective hair care slip and we will find ourselves catapulted back into the Stone Age.
Disclaimer: There is absolutely no scientific proof for any of the information above. It just makes us happy to think about all the ways really good hair care can benefit our lives.
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